Archive for February, 2009

thesis re-building tools

Posted in Class Notes, revision on February 25, 2009 by Sean Meehan

1]Mapping the thesis. To go back and re-vise the thesis as it is threaded (to see if it is threaded) through the essay. Re-sketch or outline the essay. Can do this in a list, outline form; if interested, you can play with this mindmap tool for a more visually oriented approach.

2]They Say / I Say template: Borrowed from Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein, a template or model for how to build a basic thesis or critical argument–recognizing that the basic academic argument makes explicit reference to what others say or conventionally think and then what you say in contrast or in response to complicate the traditiona view.

X tells a story about/argues _______ to make the point that ______. My own experience (in my view) with _______ yields a point that is similar/different/both similar and different. What I take away from my own experience with ________ is  _________. As a result, I conclude __________.

3]Thesis builder: a tool that offers a similar view for building a thesis based upon making your focus explicit and how that differs/relates to other views.

4]Screen-writing template? Details to come.

close reading template

Posted in Class Notes, revision on February 24, 2009 by Sean Meehan

A follow-up from our discussion in the workshop Monday–a way to visualize close/slow reading in a paragraph where you are bringing in a quotation from the text. How to avoid the drive-by quoting and the resume. The basic template I put up on the board

  1. Set-up: Introduce the quotation briefly: context; who is speaking, where; don’t throw the quotation at the reader. Can also begin to integrate/anticipate the interpretation you will be getting into after the quotation. Examples: While traversing the Alps Victor echoes the words of the poem “Mutability” in saying, “…”;  or even better: Victor’s fear of change is particularly evident when he echoes the lines from Mutability, “…”
  2. Close-up: The quotation. Choose a portion from the text that is not just relevant but rich, worth focusing on for your interpretation.
  3. Follow-up: Put the quotation to work and explain/elaborate how it speaks to and supports and develops your critical vision (thesis). Highlight key words, phrases, images. Don’t assume the quotation speaks for itself. Make it speak to your vision and how you want your reader to see it. Use suggestive imperatives: Notice that Victor (or Shelley or Walton) uses the word….  This is the place for interpreation, not summary. Slow the scene down and look at a specific frame. Think 4-7 sentences or more of good follow-up to the quotation.

To consider one example, Denise from my class last semester, writing about the intertextual link with “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Here is a specific paragraph that is effective in its close and slow reading–notice how she notices the particular word ’serpent’ and puts that to work.

The plots, themselves, are inherently similar: an older man tells a younger man about something tragic that has occurred in his life in a first person, story frame format. The stronger tie, however, is the distinct air of warning that pervades both tales. In anticipation of his narrative, Frankenstein says, “I had determined, at one time, that the memory of these evils should die with me; but you have won me to alter my determination. You seek for knowledge and wisdom, as I once did; and I ardently hope that the gratification of your wishes may not be a serpent to sting you, as mine has been” (18-19). Frankenstein has been stung by a metaphorical snake in his past – and not just any metaphorical snake, but a metaphorical serpent. The connotation of the word “serpent” calls to mind certain evil; this word choice was very deliberate.  The ominous, cautionary nature of these words immediately strikes both Walton and the reader. This nature primes Frankenstein’s audience to listen carefully to his tale and take what moral each can. The Ancient Mariner, too, stops the wedding guest of his tale to relate his own morbid experiences, in the hopes that the guest will, like Walton, become wiser.  Both stories are told to impart a specific message to both their internal and external audiences. The Mariner warns that one should love everything that exists, something that clearly does not happen in Frankenstein. This negligence allows horrible events to occur in both stories; thus, Frankenstein echoes the Mariner’s warning. Likewise, one of the messages of Frankenstein seems to be on the dangers of knowledge, both in general and in its misuse. Like Frankenstein, the Ancient Mariner abuses knowledge by using it to kill an albatross and is then punished for it. 


 

 

samples: project 1

Posted in Class Notes, revision with tags , , , on February 11, 2009 by Sean Meehan

After each project, we will reflect upon what we have done and where we might go next with our writing (and to use the hybrid term, our wreading). One way we can do this is take a look at what some writers in the class have achieved. To that end, I remind you that you can benefit from browsing what your peers did with their writing projects: take a look at what they posted to their blogs, perhaps even offer a comment. To inspire you to do that, I am selecting a couple essays out in which I noticed some things that were effective, that we might all consider and even ’sample’ in our work. This doesn’t mean that the essays I have linked are perfect or the only way to write; it means that the aspects I point to are examples of a strength that we can not only appreciate but learn from–in fact, you will find that I will always point out in every paper something strong and something that could be worked on.

Reflection. Our focal point for the first project was critical reflection: developing the reflection on past experience and its relation to our critical vision (in more formulaic terms you might remember from high school: how a supporting example supports and develops your thesis). I saw a variety of good examples of this; two you might take a look at are pieces by Shannon (particularly how her reflection develops pathos) and Emily.

Vision/Thesis. We will continue in the next project to focus on critical vision: ie, our thesis. I will be suggesting that while a thesis/vision needs to be clearly stated at some point, usually not too far into an essay, it also can’t be bland and blunt. The essays by Kelsey and Emily offer good examples of how you can have a more narrative opening (putting the reader into a story) and still have an effective thesis that you pull back to in a second or later paragraph. Devin’s piece offers a good example of stating a vision/thesis up front and directly (yet still not needing to be boring or overly blunt).

Presentation. Finally, I want to emphasize that a title in my view is an important part of any essay or piece of writing–at the very least, a writer chooses to have a piece ‘untitled’ but never should simply not title it or worse, title it ‘project 1.’ You miss the opportunity to engage your reader both in terms of style and in terms of vision. Consider Jessica’s title as one example of the way this can work. I am immediately intrigued and want to read more. Another sample to consider: notice how Sara uses an epigraph to introduce her essay and focus our attention. By the way, Sara offers a good example of revision–if you browse her earlier draft posting, you will see how she made the essay stronger by shaping/developing some things that were already in it, but needed to be brought out.

the medium is the workshop of the message

Posted in Class Notes with tags , , , , , , , on February 9, 2009 by Sean Meehan

I mentioned in our visit to the print shop Marshall McLuhan’s Understanding Media, a famous book from the 1960s by a so-called media guru. I want to follow up the reference in order to think a bit more about how/why I am hearing in Shelley’s “workshop of filthy creation” echoes of the medium of writing and print.

McLuhan defines media in that book as “extensions of man.” Contrary to someone like Birkerts, who neglects the medium of the book and tends to view media only as the new, the electronic, McLuhan understands that a medium is anything that extends the capability of a human who uses it. Thus any and all forms of communication tools are media, starting with language itself: writing, pencil, book, printing press, variety of computer mediated forms of writing and language. And in this book he extends this notion of extension: literally any tool that can be considered an extension: clothing, wheels, houses.

In the same book, McLuhan repeats a saying he made famous (perhaps you have heard of it): the medium is the message. He means in large part that the significance of any  medium  is the mediation it provides; he also means that a new medium contains aspects and traces of the old medium it supposedly replaces. A bit later in the course we will get back to this idea that has come to be called “remediation.”

Perhaps another way of putting this is to say that  a medium such as writing (print or electronic) is significant and meaningful in part (McLuhan a bit more boldly might say entirely) for the way it pulls back the curtain on the communication (or extension) it provides. This foregrounding of the medium is on my mind in the readings this week. We have Birkerts who is focused so intently and intensively on the privacy of print and writing, on the qualities of a book to be a medium of transport and self-extension–yet thinking very little about the medium (machine) of the book or even the writing that goes into it. At the other end, with Hayles the initial pages of Writing Machines, we find an author similarly transported by literature and the private life of reading, yet who insists upon the material encounter with the medium of writing, of print, and of electronic text. And in the middle, Frankenstein. A story, it seems to me, about the mediated nature of creativity, authorial and biological; about being consigned, as humans, to the workshop of filthy creation.

McLuhan highlights for me the ways that Birkerts neglects to define and consider and reflect upon and understand the mediated nature of new media (instead of generalizing, too quickly brushing them off). And though he does do a better job being more deliberate and reflective regarding the media of print (all the reading and writing he discusses), there is still this problem. He gets, I think, the medium of print wrong. Consider this paragraph from McLuhan that evokes Birkerts’ senses of passivity vs. activity, except it locates the passive not with television but with the technology of literacy.

Western man acquired from the technology of literacy the power to act without reacting. The advantages of fragmenting himself in this way are seen in the case of the surgeon who would be quite helpless if he were to become humanly involved in his operation. We acquired the art of carrying out the most dangerous social operations with complete detachment. But our detachment was a posture of noninvolvement. In the electric age, when our central nervous system is technologically extended to involve us in the whole of mankind and to incorporate the whole of mankind in us, we necessarily participate, in depth, in the consequences of our every action. It is no longer possible to adopt the aloof and dissociated role of the literate Westerner. [Understanding Media, 4]

I see a good bit of Birkerts in this image of detachment. Ironically, McLuhan gives us to imagine this scenario at home: parent yelling at child to put down that book, stop being so lazy, and get on the internet and do something real.

Does Victor make a similar mistake? What do you think?

Most Common Formal Errors

Posted in Class Notes, Editing with tags , on February 4, 2009 by Sean Meehan

Here is a checklist of the most common formal errors found in college writing. These are the kinds of surface errors in punctuation, usage, mechanics, and grammar that we want to give our attention to when editing. This list was compiled by the Washington College Writing Center and dervied from research done by Andrea Lunsford and Robert Connors. One effective way to use a list like this is to identify a few that look familiar (issues you know you have) and work on them, read more into them [at the bottom of this post, there are two resources you can consult, in additon to a text like Hacker Writer's Reference], rather than try to take on all 20 at once.

  1. Wrong word
  2. Missing comma after an introductory element
  3. Incomplete or missing documentation
  4. Vague pronoun reference
  5. Spelling error (including homonyms: there/their, etc)
  6. Mechanical error with a quotation
  7. Unnecessary comma
  8. Unnecessary or missing capitalization
  9. Missing word
  10. Faulty sentence structure
  11. Missing comma with a nonrestrictive element
  12. Unnecessary shift in verb tense
  13. Missing comma in a compound sentence
  14. Unnecessary or missing apostrophe (its/it’s)
  15. Fused (run-on) sentence
  16. Comma splice
  17. Lack of pronoun-antecedent agreement
  18. Poorly integrated quotation
  19. Unnecessary of missing hyphen
  20. Sentence fragment


Two electronic resources you might consult for examples and information regarding these and other kinds of errors:

The Guide to Grammar and Writing (use the index to look up the error).

Common Errors in English (a boatload of them, including a surprising listing of non-errors)